{"id":2824,"date":"2022-01-20T18:23:15","date_gmt":"2022-01-20T10:23:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inkwell.asia\/?p=2824"},"modified":"2022-01-20T18:23:15","modified_gmt":"2022-01-20T10:23:15","slug":"harborcityhomicide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inkwell.asia\/zh\/harborcityhomicide\/","title":{"rendered":"Using Literature as a Springboard: Novel Craft and David Bradbury’s Harbor City Homicide"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a craft essay from Inkwell fiction writer, David Bradbury on his process as a novel writer. I hope you’ll consider buying his newest\u00a0book, Harbor City Homicide,\u00a0<\/em>which is available on Amazon.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Hello Fellow Writers,<\/p>\n

Ryan has asked me to jot down my thoughts about the process of starting off with the idea for a book and ending up with a published edition, in my case\u00a0Harbor City Homicide<\/em>, a Michael Connelly-style LA crime novel. I recently\u00a0self-published on Kindle Direct Publishing.<\/p>\n

First off, one common piece of advice to writers is simply to start writing, start plugging away at anything, be it a diary, notes, short story or a first draft. I don\u2019t think this is the best advice if you are interested in writing in a specific genre, in my case, crime fiction. It\u2019s best to develop a style and certain level of competence through work and critiques. Just pounding away at a laptop can lead to a weighty manuscript that are\u00a0not particularly good. A woman I knew spent a lot of time writing up a diary of a pilgrimage route she had walked in Spain. It ended up not one thing or another. Neither a practical travel guide; nor an entertaining literary piece. It was just a personal diary of everyday jottings of not much interest.<\/p>\n

What I found worked was to read, and by read, I mean read as in study, not read for pleasure. I like Michael Connelly so I set out to study one of his books. First off, I typed a whole chapter out on my laptop. This might seem a little crazy but it forced me to study some of the basics of his writing-\u00a0how he portrays dialogue, characters and settings.<\/p>\n

For example, there\u2019s this\u00a0example of dialogue from\u00a0The Last Coyote:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAny thoughts? Could you share them with me, Detective Bosch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy thoughts are that this is bullshit.\u201d<\/p>\n

First off, the dialogue is realistic, and by that, I mean not the meandering, humming and hawing people engage in everyday, but realistic for a crime book;\u00a0it bounces back and forth like a table tennis ball. Also, think about the word choice, \u2018share them with me\u2019, \u2018this is bullshit\u201d. They\u2019re the sort of words a psychiatrist and a detective would use. They\u2019re not only appropriate for the character, but these words\u00a0help define them.<\/p>\n

This is\u00a0some\u00a0dialogue\u00a0from\u00a0my book, between a former reporter and my detective.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd this concerns me how?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cListen up, I\u2019m throwing you a bone,\u201d she said. \u201cThat guy who was clipped outside his motel two days ago you videoed, now his daughter\u2019s run off, I don\u2019t think they connected but\u2026\u201d\u00a0she spread her hands.<\/p>\n

Hopefully the word choice, \u2018listen up,\u2019 \u2018throwing a bone\u2019 \u2018clipped\u2019, is the sort of language a police officer would use. Also, I\u2019ve chosen a staccato way of speaking, similar to the cadence of a detective giving a briefing. And the \u2018this concerns me how?\u201d implies some manner of disdain in the ex-reporter.<\/p>\n

For character, here\u2019s Connelly\u2019s description of the psychiatrist:<\/p>\n

Carmen Hinojos had tiny brown hands she kept on the desk in front of her. No rings on either hand. She held an expensive-looking pen in her right hand. Bosch always thought expensive pens were used by people overly concerned with image. But maybe he was wrong about her. She wore her dark brown hair tied back. She wore glasses with thin tortoiseshell frames. She should have had braces when she was a kid but didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Connelly has given a straightforward physical description that is almost like reading out an itemized shopping list. Tiny hands, no rings on fingers, brown hair tied back, thin tortoiseshell frame glasses, buck teeth. He\u2019s painted a vivid picture. But what saves it from being a dull list are the particular choices of what is being described, and the inferences the detective and the reader can draw. His character Bosch thinks Hinojos may be concerned with her image and came from a poor family. And as a reader I draw inferences that she is unmarried, conservative and bookish.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s my take on a physical description of a character:<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing,\u201d the woman said, closing the door for a moment, unlinking the chain and opening it for detective Freitag.<\/p>\n

An ample woman in her late 30s, Freitag noted. Butter colored bell-bottomed slacks. Armless purple turtle neck jumper. Platinum white B52 wig. Glossy pink lipstick and cobalt eyeshadow. Likely no friends because she worked nights and got her kicks playing dress-up with other geeks.<\/p>\n

Hopefully the physical list describes some sort of cosplay character as vividly as Connelly would have done. It\u2019s not just a shopping list, I\u2019ve chosen particular things to illustrate a character. And the detective is drawing an inference about the character from the observations.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve also used short statements, like the detective\u2019s staccato way of speaking, rather than full sentences because I think this will help illustrate a brusque detective, making observations as if she were taking notes.<\/p>\n

For setting, here\u2019s Connelly\u2019s description of a house:<\/p>\n

It was a small Craftsman bungalow set on the crest of a hill. It had a full porch with red bougainvillea running along the railing. As he got out, he could smell the sea and guessed that there might be a limited ocean view from the house\u2019s Western windows. It was about ten degrees cooler that it had been at this home and so he reached back into his car for the sport coat. He walked to the front porch while putting it on.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a few things I take from this piece of writing. First up, it\u2019s a physical description list, but not the old itemized shopping list. It\u2019s been chosen with care to illustrate a pleasant home. Note the, \u2018Craftsman bungalow set on hill\u2019, \u2018porch with red bougainvillea\u2019. Connelly\u2019s also using the senses with his description, what the character Bosch is seeing, smelling and feeling. And, it\u2019s not static. The character is moving through it, making it come alive.<\/p>\n

Here’s my version of a setting.<\/p>\n

Detective Freitag pulled her Dodge into a space between a battered delivery van and an overflowing dumpster on Heroin Alley. She put a hand up to her nose as she got out of the car. A nearby trash can smelt of excrement. She knew sometimes bottom feeder gangsters would charge people a couple of dollars to use the few public toilets. This forced the homeless to relieve themselves in buckets and empty them in the trashcans when full.\u00a0\u00a0Across the road, two black-and-whites were parked, headlights on, illuminating a low-slung, concrete-block, auto-parts workshop. She crossed the road, keeping an eye on the asphalt for discarded syringes. A preacher delivering water had trod on one, contracted a staph infection and ended up having his lower leg amputated. Officer Mendez was standing at the door of the auto workshop. Over the flat rooftop, through the coils of razor wire, the neon logos of the banks and financial houses of Downtown lit up the night.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019ve learnt from Connelly is to use well-chosen items to illustrate a setting, \u2018the overflowing dumpster; concrete block, auto-parts workshop, coils of razor wire\u2019. I\u2019m also using the senses – the smells of excrement, the physicality of stepping on a syringe, the neon lights through the razor wire. I also have my detective moving through the setting, interacting with it, making it come alive, not reciting a list of what she is seeing.<\/p>\n

Of course, dividing writing into dialogue, character and setting is simply a way of analysing writing. When you write, they all come together seamlessly.<\/p>\n

This is an (abbreviated) passage from\u00a0The Last Coyote:<\/em><\/p>\n

The woman who answered the white door after one knock was in her mid-sixties and looked it. She was thin, with dark hair, but the gray roots were beginning to show and she was ready for another dye job. She wore thick red lipstick, a white silk blouse with sea horses on it over navy blue slacks.<\/p>\n

\u201cMeredith Roman?\u201d<\/p>\n

She lost the smile as quickly as she had found it before.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not my name,\u201d she said in a clipped tone. \u201cYou have the wrong place.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Harry Bosch,\u201d he said, quickly.<\/p>\n

Recognition and memories flooded her eyes like tears. \u201cHarry, little Harry. Oh darling, c\u2019mere.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bosch entered a nicely furnished living room. The floor was red oak and the stucco walls were clean and white. The furniture was matching white rattan. The place was light and bright but Bosch knew he was there to bring darkness.<\/p>\n

And dialogue, character and setting are only there to serve the main purpose of a book, the plot, and what the reader wants, a great story.<\/p>\n

Books, particularly crime fiction, need a strong plot to move things along.\u00a0\u00a0Most \u2018How to Write\u2019 books refer to the hero\u2019s journey from ancient Greek tales. The retired or disgraced hero is on the farm in the bosom of his family. He is called on to deal with some crisis. He refuses. He is persuaded to change his mind. He embarks on an adventure, surmounting increasing obstacles. Finally, he triumphs, defeats the enemy, and returns to his loving family.<\/p>\n

Think about plots in crime fiction. There\u2019s a crisis, usually a murder. A cop, often on suspension, is brought in when others have failed. There\u2019s the twists and turns of the investigation. And finally, an arrest and exoneration.<\/p>\n

To fully understand how Connelly plotted a book, I got an exercise book and wrote a summary of each chapter on each page. That highlighted how the story of the crime investigation unfolded. Also, how the sub-plots – any sidebar investigation, the detective\u2019s relations with his commander and family as well as personal problems and interests – unfolded. Next, I got a sheet of A3 paper and wrote out a flow chart for how the main plot progressed, with the sub-plots below. That gave me an insight into how they progressed, hit bumps, ratcheted up in tension, ratcheted down, and came to a crescendo. (It\u2019s hardly necessary to say, but the sub-plots as well as being stories in their own rights, are interspersed with the main plot as pauses and tension breaks in the investigation.)<\/p>\n

A common question writers are asked is \u2018are you a plotter or a\u00a0pantser?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0That is, do you carefully plot out your story or do you just start writing by the seat of your pants and let the characters lead you on a journey?\u00a0I guess writing is a combination of both. A crime writer will start with an idea for a story, perhaps based on a real crime, have an idea how it will progress, and adapt and develop it as they go along. I suggest you flow chart out how plots are developed by Connelly, Michael Crais, Jonathon Kellerman, Dennis Lehane, or\u00a0Walter Mosley to better understand plotting. That\u2019s a lot of work, and so is developing a plot of your own.<\/p>\n

Next, if you\u2019re starting off as a writer it\u2019s vital to belong to a well-informed writers\u2019 group that will give you correct feedback and encouragement.<\/p>\n

Some of the feedback I received from the Shanghai Inkwell\u00a0group was that a person reading crime fiction is doing it for relaxation and doesn\u2019t want to\u00a0\u00a0make any inferences as Connelly often asks the reader to do.<\/p>\n

I had written a sentence introducing my main character where she brushes her hand back on her hip, drawing her jacket back to reveal a Glock automatic. To my mind, the inference the reader would draw is that she is a police detective as the Glock is a standard police issue weapon so I wouldn\u2019t have to state that. However, the feedback from the group was that either they didn\u2019t want to have to try and figure this out, or that it was unclear anyway. Hence, my main character got a gold LAPD detective\u2019s badge on her hip in addition to the Glock. And that\u2019s why, in the cos play lady description above, I just left the detective to do the figuring out.<\/p>\n

Another feedback from the Inkwell fiction\u00a0group that was words aren\u2019t just vehicles for the characters, dialogue, setting and plot. The language can be enjoyable in its own right, as in great literature or poetry. Kellerman often uses particular words and phrases that wouldn\u2019t be in a traditional hard-boiled crime novel. Such as, \u2018Rouge creating clown-like cerise circles.\u2019 Cerise? Really? But that\u2019s more fun than writing \u2018she had pink makeup on her cheeks.\u201d Also, he has some fun juxtaposing language. Here is his description of a driveway:\u00a0“a\u00a0double width entry fronted by curvaceous, gold-painted iron over glass.\u201d Curvaceous? Rubens\u2019 models are curvaceous. But once again, it\u2019s more fun than writing it was a bow-shaped gate.<\/p>\n

I tried to have some fun with the language after\u00a0my\u00a0feedback from Inkwell. Hence in the description of the cos play lady her slacks are \u2018butter colored\u2019 not yellow, and she wears \u2018cobalt eyeshadow\u2019 not black.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t emphasis enough how important a professional writers\u2019 group is. If you show your writing to friends and family, they\u2019re going to say it\u2019s great because they don\u2019t want to be mean to you;\u00a0they want to encourage you, and they might even fear losing your friendship. Likewise, attending a well-meaning but amateur group of\u00a0writers\u00a0isn\u2019t going to cut it. It\u2019s like taking your car to a backyard mechanic rather than a professional. You\u2019re going to end stuck on the side of the road with a broke down heap of trash. You need considered, high quality feedback, like you get at Inkwell, or from a writing course, to progress.<\/p>\n

You also need to devote time to your writing. Sitting around waiting for inspiration to come when you have a few hours spare won\u2019t work. You need to spend four or five hours a day pounding it out, which is rough if you\u2019re exhausted from work or have family commitments. Getting away from all the distractions at Writers Retreats where you can focus on your writing and start churning it out is one solution.<\/p>\n

Finally, to make your writing successful, you need to write about what you are passionate about. Writing is more than rote words on the page like a newspaper report. You\u2019ve got to find some topic or story you\u2019re committed to so that energy comes out in your writing. Connelly is a former crime reporter who is fully focused on Los Angeles, its bank robberies and murders, the combative relationships among the detectives and senior officers, his detective Bosch\u2019s commitment to the job and love of his daughter. That\u2019s why he is so successful.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The Inkwell is a non-profit literary organization dedicated to hosting educational and literary events and developing the talents of writers. Inkwell\u662f\u4e00\u5bb6\u81f4\u529b\u4e8e\u4e3e\u529e\u6559\u80b2\u548c\u6587\u5b66\u6d3b\u52a8\u3001\u57f9\u517b\u4f5c\u5bb6\u4eba\u624d\u7684\u975e\u8425\u5229\u6027\u6587\u5b66\u7ec4\u7ec7\u3002<\/p>\n

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Please follow us on WeChat for more creative writing updates.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is a craft essay from Inkwell fiction writer, David Bradbury on his process as a novel writer. I hope you’ll consider buying his newest\u00a0book, Harbor City Homicide,\u00a0which is available on Amazon. 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